Bicycle Texas!

Tammy's Story...
 
 
In 1991 I began losing a whole group of my closest friends to AIDS.  One by one I watch as they battled with medications, loss of appetite, loss of sight, loss of family and loss of their own friends to this disease.  I sometimes felt guilty for being healthy.  I sat by their bedsides holding their hands and letting them know that it was ok to let go.  These were some of the most difficult and beautiful moments of my life at that point. Being a part of the someone's transition from this planet is a very powerful thing.  I know there were angels all around me and my friends helping us both through this time.  By 1995 I had said goodbye to six friends and in 1997 lost the last member of our close group.  This had a tremendous impact on me emotionally and I had to take a break for awhile from anything related to AIDS.  It just hurt too bad.  Over next year I began to realize how selfish that was and how self centered my life had become.  Not allowing anyone HIV positive to get close to me was not the answer.  In 1998, I was really at a crossroads in my own life.  My relationship of several years had broken up and I suddenly found myself
alone and searching for a new path.  A dear friend of mine, Debbie Cunningham, asked me if I would consider doing the AIDS Ride.  She was going to an orientation and asked if I would at least come and check it out.  Well, after seeing the video and realizing that the universe had led me there for obvious reasons, I signed up for Texas AIDS Ride 1 that night.  My life has changed so drastically since that moment.   I began to
realize that I could honor the memory of my friends and heal the wounds that losing them had left on my heart, by being active in helping those still living with this disease.   That is what they would want me to do.  As I began to train for the 7 day trek from Austin to Houston to Dallas I called upon their spirits to help me along the way.   Each time a struggled up another hill or around White Rock Lake for the millionth time I thought of their daily struggles and how blessed I was to have my health, and I began to feel strong.  The whole process of training began to put things in perspective in my own life.  On that first ride I met so many loving, compassionate and passionate people.  Their enthusiasm and positive energy helped me to find those feelings inside myself again.  The beautiful miracle of healing had begun in my heart and I felt invigorated, alive and hopeful for the future.  My life has transformed in so many ways since October of 1998.  I signed up and rode in Texas AIDS Ride 2 in October 1999, which was extremely challenging on so many levels for me personally.   They say each ride is different and they are right.
 
In June I will be participating in the California AIDS Ride 7 and in August I will be traveling to Alaska to ride in the first ever Alaska AIDS Vaccine Ride, which will benefit some of the top AIDS vaccine researchers in the world.  I am honored to be involved in the AIDS Rides.  God
has blessed me with my health, lots of energy and a belief that I can do anything I have the desire to do.  So here I go again!  I am training on and off the bike and feel I will be strong and ready for the hills of California and the mountains of Alaska.
 
So for my angels Tim, Ed, Michael, Stephen, Emerson, Tracy, Bryan, Jim and Bobby, I ride in your honor and memory.  I see your beautiful faces as I ride every
mile knowing that I am taking an active part in making a difference.  I miss each of you and feel your presence in my life everyday helping me through each challenge.
 
Hopefully, one day we will not being riding in AIDS Rides to raise money to help those living with this disease because it will be something that the next generation will only read about in history books, not have to see in the faces of those they love, however, until that day comes....WE RIDE!
( Email Tammy at tammy@moonfishstudio.com )